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Detox Diaries: The Final Chapter


brings with it a bombardment of targeted emails, Facebook ads, and general advertising touting the detox and cleanse phenom:

‘What to eat to feel better, boost fat burn and help prevent illness this spring!’

It’s almost spring and time to start thinking about a detox or cleanse! ‘

‘The benefits of detoxification and 10 Beauty experts’ tips for a flawless skin with organic facial skin care!’

Like the famous Landesman and Wolf song Spring Can Really Hang You Up the Most:

Spring this year has got me feeling
like a horse that never left the post.
I lie in my room
staring up at the ceiling.
Spring can really hang you up the most.

I am feeling a bit lethargic to say the least, but not for the same reasons that Ella Fitzgerald crooned this melancholy love song in 1961. This unusual spring-like weather (which won’t last) reminds me of my post-holiday detox and cleanse and my personal promise to provide a final piece on my detox to you, our loyal followsummer readers. Well, here it is.

Looking back on my posts some four weeks ago I am struck by the childlike euphoria about doing the detox: I did a word search and was shocked at how many times the word ‘virtuous’ showed up. I was just under my goal of losing 10 pounds, so I am not going to beat myself up over that. I did stop drinking for 28 days, (score!) and did continue to use the gym facilities in my building and my new Y pass.

Here are some detox lessons learned:

Keep Yourself Hydrated:

This was probably the most important take away for me. So much so that I keep a 1L bottle of water going now at my desk and a large glass of water at home. And it is important to limit your caffeine intake. Caffeine naturally dehydrates the body, causing immediate dehydration. Remember my New-Gal-on-the-morning-Starbucks-shift-doesn’t-know-me-so-I-don’t- get-the-Jade Citrus-Tea-Idiot-Slap-this-morning? While that Starbucks coffee or latte sounds great, try going for a morning walk with a Grande Green Tea to gain the energy you need for your day. And don’t wait until you’re thirsty. By the time you feel thirsty, you have probably already lost two or more cups of your total body water composition.

Get Some New Friends Other Than Your Old Friend, Alcohol:

Try and cut back and reduce the amount of alcohol you are drinking before you start the detox. By doing this, you will slowly lower the amount of alcohol entering your blood stream while getting rid of any alcohol which may be built up. Make a plan about how many drinks you will allow yourself per day and how long until that number reaches zero. It takes work and determination, but hey, if you are already committing to doing the detox, why not start with your liver?

Eat Less and More Often:

DO NOT MAKE THE MISTAKE OF NOT HAVING HEALTHY SNACKS AVAILABLE. Almonds, celery, carrot sticks, rice cakes with almond butter are all good, easily portable and readily accessible. Have a supply of non-sugar, non-glucose-based fruit juices to satisfy the sweet tooth cravings.  Eat small amounts 5-6 times a day.

I found this detox-related quote online:

“Maybe that’s the secret to happiness: Deprive yourself of things just so you can find new joy in their reintroduction.”

Yeah, Baby: especially my old friend Red, Red, Wine…So nice to see you again!

Spring well, my friends.

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